Dennis the merchant marine

So I've met this guy in Vancouver sitting outside of Starbucks. His name if you can't tell by the title is Dennis and he's a merchant marine(still trying to figure this out). Our conversations started casually talking about tea as he was drinking an Earl Grey and me nursing what was left of my Americano. We swapped stories from overseas, I listened as he unpacked the different places he had been, what he liked and disliked, and his frustrations with various governments. He swore and cursed along the way so I joined in occassionally which only encouraged him even more.

During the conversation, he asked what I was doing in Washington so willing to be displaced from family and friends by 3,000 miles. I explained seminary and how I wasn't going to be a priest, but not really sure what I wanted to do. The first conversation took us quickly through the gospel and ended with his 2 questions of, "How does a good God allow suffering," and "How do we erase the memories of so many wrongs?" We talked briefly about Paul and his former life before Christ, but I could tell this were some deep things in his soul that still stung.

The second conversation which happened yesterday took a similar turn. He once again began by thrashing the government and discussed the struggles of so many people throughout the world, I listened and tried to make a few points. But then he started discussing different religions and how I was different and what made me think what I believed was better than others. I offered a differences between what I believe about God and his offer of love throguh Christ and other major religions. We discussed how the God of the Bible is the only One who offers to right the wrong without us trying to fulfill a laundry list of moral duties. He then went into how can he constantly keep track of all the sin that he may commit from day to day and what if he forgets one and dies, is that it for him? We were able to discuss the one time forgiveness of God that is good for all eternity. And that it's not a matter of trying to keep track of everything or having to constantly ask forgiveness, but that we worship for the forgiveness and sacrifice that's been offered for us. And we have hope in the security that God offers through His grace and mercy. The conversation ended soon after and it seemed that the Spirit was working within him.

I mention all this because of the impact the conversations have had on myself. I'm more like Dennis in my beliefs than I ever want to admit. I want to earn my grace and question God sometimes as to what I need to do to prove myself to Him. But I never think that it's not a matter of proving myself to God rather than proving myself to me. Not only this but I can't help but think of how many more people are out there like Dennis? They don't know what to believe, don't know what to do, and feel so helpless that they stop caring. And how many of them that I ignore each day? So my prayer is that I would truly die to myself and be willing to be a vessel of the gospel.


walk in peace